How Mormons celebrate Easter. Courtesy of my husband.

"How do you celebrate Easter?” asked my Greek Professor at the end of class Friday. She is a native Greek speaker and the prototype of a charming Giagia. As the only student in her Modern Greek 656 class, sometimes I feel more like family than a student with the way we joke and laugh all the while.

What was inherent in the “you” was “mormons”. I have often, to my delight, fielded tough questions about Mormonism being the first member of the “very financially savvy” church she has befriended. Having served a full-time mission in Greece, I relish the opportunities to focus on the eccentricities of Mormonism’s view on Christ’s teachings.

When one is actively learning multiple languages she often finds herself waiting for the right word/language combination to surface in her thoughts before opening her mouth. In like manner, I paused, then hesitated. Behind my answer flowed the context of why she would ask this in the first place: In the Greek Orthodox tradition the week of Easter is the Super Bowl of high and holy holidays. You don’t miss it! Many of the days are marked with stunning psalms and lustrous liturgies. These culminate Saturday night. When the clock strikes midnight all the lights of the church go out and out of the Holy of Holies a lighted candle emerges. Every participant in the cathedral has a candle and the flame is disseminated down through the congregation. In a moment all the cathedral is lit from the one candle, the source of all light. The symbol is stunning to think upon.

So how was I to answer the curiosity of my professor? “It’s personal,” I responded. But the words felt chunky falling off my tongue. Wanting to add to this meager response, I started again.. and failed to breathe out anything. “It’s personal,” she responded with a merciful smile which meant that my answer was sufficient. What she thought was something lost in translation was something that I simply couldn’t formulate. What is different about our Easter that brings out the masses? What beautiful symbols could she appreciate? Where’s the “magic”!? Nothing!? While sitting in the pews I’m not going to be hearing the hymns of Mary’s laments, but the lament of the child who spilled his Cheerios. Church proceeds as normal. Which reminds me, I need to prepare my lesson for Sunday school! 

Mormons don’t see eye to eye with Historic Christianity on the holidays, rituals, and feasts. We kind of lump those things into the miscellaneous category of good intentions gone wrong. Our method of worship is simple and unbounded. It’s kind of the Build-a-bear of religions. A lot is left between you, God, and your conscience to work through, like Jacob wrestling the angel for his blessing. Epic.

What draws us to church on Easter Sunday is not what happens on that day in church, but what has happened previously in our lives. I felt unsatisfied with my answer because I didn’t do it justice. I told her that everyone worships in his and her own way. They have candles at church, we have prayers at home; They have crucifixes hung, and we present our bodies as a living sacrifice; They hear beautiful liturgies, and in silence are the greatest sermons taught to us. 

The thing that draws me to church on Easter Sunday is the same thing that brings me every week. I love the Lord. He is my shepherd; I shall not want. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters. He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name’s sake. 

He was oppressed, and he was afflicted, yet he opened not his mouth; he is brought as a lamb to the slaughter, and as a sheep before her shearers is dumb, so he openeth not his mouth.

He counsels me often to consider the lilies how they grow: they toil not, they spin not; and yet Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these.

He is the tree whose fruit is most sweet. It is the love of God, the most desirable of all things, and the most joyous to the soul; whose word is iron leading to the fountain of living waters. 

Though I should serve him with my whole soul, yet would I be an unprofitable servant.

This Sunday, this is the testimony, last of all, which I want to give of him: that He lives!

I don’t want the pomp. This Easter is a product of how I have chosen to live my life. Ritual and tradition do not inform my worship, only devotion and longing to be more. I will try to approach God in thanksgiving for the awesomely terrifying gift of His Son. 

So, It’s personal.

Utah Photo Dump.

We went to Utah a few weeks ago for my sisters wedding. It was amazing! A quick trip, but so refreshing to be back with family.

 We did lots of wedding things and I got to meet my sisters baby boy, Maddox who was born just a few weeks ago! Be still my soul, he is so cute.

See:

And he's a tiny 6lbs. So cute.

My basically 4 year old niece Addi who is sad to be human and not lioness.

Wedding day. The ladies in my fam.

Sisters.

And of course, no trip to Utah would be complete without seeing this guy. Hudson. He seriously has stolen my heart. His mama is having a little girl any day and she has a lot to live up to following this stud :)

Hipster Hudson. 

Feeding his glasses obsession.

Fried.

So life has been busy with me having a job and all. It's been great to be working again, but this job isn't exactly my ideal. I mean, I'm at a little Mexican restaurant making burritos and frying the tortilla chips and such. So...it pays the bills, but isn't a confidence-booster. Ha!

Now to the story. 

Like I said, I fry the fried foods in the mornings when I first get to work. This includes loads of chips, taco shells, taco salad bowls and little crispy tortilla strips. It's a great time, let me tell you. I get all hot and sweaty over that rectangle of boiling soy bean oil.

So on Monday, I was going about my taco salad bowl frying business, when an air bubble formed in one of the tortillas and then exploded. On my wrist. Hot oil straight to the tender underside of my arm. It was so hot! And hurt so bad! Initially, I didn't want to look at my wound because I was couldn't tell exactly where the 350 degree oil blob had struck. I was slightly nervous that it was somewhere on m gloves and the glove would be melted to my hand somewhere. Yes, I know. I have a flare for the dramatic. But, seriously. I was scared. 

When I finally looked I saw it was just a big red spot on my wrist and was relieved. I kept frying even though my skin was still on fire because that day I had a particularly large load of frying to do and New Englanders are not exactly the most tender-hearted of people. So I finished my duties and when I got the chance I ran some cold water over it to help relieve some of the burning and then got on with my day. 

But, while on my break I did snap a quick picture of the initial damage to send to my dearly beloved. Just because he is  my husband and signed a marriage certificate saying he would sympathize with me :)

So for the past few days I have actually maintained my photo documentation of said burn because it was amusing and I have never had anything like this. 

**Side note: I have a weird obsession with things like this. The human body just amazes me!**

So here you have the daily progression of my oil burn:

 Just some redness.

 A more defined burn spot

Small blister formed.

Big, gross blister.

Popped. (sorry for the blur)

Crazy, huh? 

It's actually gross. 

But what can you do. Such is life. 

good eats.

So Tay and I have been talking recently about doing a clean eating diet for the next few weeks. We have been exercising a ton, but don't feel like our diet is quite up to par. So we're thinking of doing this total overhaul to reset our metabolisms. It will not be easy, but we are excited for something new and challenging. 

So tonight, for our healthy meal I made asparagus soup compliments of pinterest and blissfullydomestic.com. The ingredients were all whole foods that I boiled and then pureed in our blender. It was delicious!

Here's the recipe:

Ingredients

• 1 sweet onion, diced
• 1 green bell pepper, diced
• 2 garlic cloves, minced
• fresh ground black pepper
• 2 tablespoons olive oil
• 2 pounds asparagus
• 3 cups water
• 1 vegetable bouillon cube

How-To

1. In a large pot, sauté the onion, bell pepper, garlic, and black pepper in the olive oil until tender.
2. Add in the water and bouillon cube and bring to a boil.
3. In the meantime, chop the asparagus, disposing of the woody parts of it.
4. Once boiling, add in the asparagus.
5. Cook for about 5 minutes until the asparagus is tender.
6. Pour the soup into a blender.
7. Blend until creamy.
8. Serve and enjoy!

We also added a little greek yogurt to the blender and mixed it together to make it a bit creamier.

Hope you try it and love it!

commitment.

I feel like I haven't blogged in years, but really it has only been a few weeks. A few busy ones with the husband which I will take over the internet any day. I don't even know what we've been so busy doing, mostly just trying to get our bums back into tippy top shape for my sisters wedding in 3 weeks! So exciting. 

But today I was inspired by the little girl in this video. She's three. And she's doing something amazing and I love her for her simple act of kindness and charity. Watch this if you haven't seen it already. Or watch it again to take it all in. 

 In honor of her and the wonderful thing she's doing I decided to follow suit. I love having short hair, but I am committed to growing it out and chopping it off again because "i don't want any kids to be sad that they have no hair, what I wanna do is give them my hair…"

Thanks little Emily for being so inspiring!

Valentine's Day

Ok, so I realize this post is so late because Valentine's Day was like 3 days ago…but I have been so busy loving my Valentine that I haven't had a chance to write this post. 

So, for our day of love we always choose to stay in and celebrate as opposed to go out. We make it a goal to make each other a particularly special dinner and dessert and snuggle all evening. I love it. I love not fighting crowds. And I love being able to celebrate the man I love at home with only him. 

This year Tay took over the kitchen and made both dinner and dessert for us. This isn't his first rendezvous in the kitchen and we had talked about the meal earlier that week so I had an idea of what to expect. But let me tell you, he went so far beyond my expectations that I can't even adequately describe the deliciousness that this one meal contained. Serious. 

My plate looked like this:

That is probably the biggest mound of mashed potatoes that you have ever seen, I know, but I didn't eat them all that night. Although I desperately wanted to because they were that good. 

Our meal consisted of Garlic mashed red potatoes, flash cooked asparagus and broiled steak with feta on top. Amazeballs. I am telling you. If you ever want to impress your family make them this meal!

And in case you really do believe me as to how amazing this meal was, and want to re-create it I'll give you the recipes.

Steak Marinade:

1/4 cup of a balsamic vinaigrette that you like

1-2 Tbsp. of brown sugar

1 large clove of garlic

Salt and pepper to taste 

Directions:

Make sure your steaks are thawed when you go to marinate them. You'll want to poke the steaks multiple times with a fork to create pathways for the marinade to seep into. Throw the steaks into a ziplock bag with the marinade and let them sit for a good 6-8 hours in the fridge. (we let them marinate over night, but that isn't necessary)

When your ready to cook your steak, pre-heat your oven to 400 degrees (on broil), then you're going to want to sear them in a frying pan first (with olive oil). Make sure the pan and oil are really hot when you put the steak in. This will seal the juices in before you put them in the oven. After they're seared (they'll be a little brown on the outside) you'll broil them in the oven for about 10 minutes or until they're cooked to your liking. If you add the feta, which I highly recommend, crumble the feta on the top and stick the steaks back in the broiler for a few minutes, or until the cheese has turned slightly brown.

Potatoes:

These aren't anything too special. They can be found online if you google garlic mashed potatoes. But basically you wash and peel the potatoes. Boil water and, add the potatoes, and let them boil until they are soft (easily pierced with a fork). Mash the potatoes (I like to use a hand mixer to make them fluffy) and add a minced clove of garlic, and milk and butter to taste (sorry I don't have exact measurements for milk and butter. It really is to your own liking. Or you can use an online recipe…)

Asparagus:

This is the easiest recipe on the planet!! So you take your stalks of asparagus and cut off the bottom (really hard) part. I usually like to cut my stalks in half so they're a little easier to eat. Heat up a frying pan with a little bit of olive oil. You want the pan to be super hot but not so hot that the oil is burning. Once the pan is sufficiently hot, add the asparagus and toss it in the oil. We love Creole seasoning on our asparagus too. It adds a little spice and plenty of salt to make the asparagus delicious. Only cook the asparagus for a couple minutes or to desired tenderness. 

Go cook! Make this dinner. You will thank me.

Liebster Award

Kelli over at Team Gilbert nominated me for the Liebster award which promotes new blogs and blogging collaboration. I love this idea and thank her kindly for the nomination. 

(and if you don't follow her, you are missing out. seriously. funniest girl you could ever meet)

How it works:

1. List 11 facts about yourself

2. Answer the questions of the person who nominated you

3. Create 11 new questions

4. Nominate 11 new bloggers

Facts about me:

1. I have a "hibernation" mode. Once I'm down for the count, I am not to be truffled* with. (*catch the office quote?)

2. I've single handedly devoured a whole bag of Mint Milano's. Don't Judge. 

3. My most prized possession in New England is a toss up between my Sorel's and my slippers.

4. My short hair is still my favorite spur of the moment decision.

5. I'm obsessed with kids. It's actually a mutual infatuation :)

6. Nicknames include: Baby whisperer, C-Smack (my rap name obviously), Hermi (short for Hermione- nerd alert), Chizelle, ChaChi (compliments of my 2 year old niece)

7. The white rhino in my header, is actually a picture of the one I have mounted on my wall. The love I have for it is borderline idol worship.  

8. I secretly want to meet Si from Duck Dynasty. Actually, I want to meet the whole Robertson family. I feel like we could be besties. 

9. My achilles heel is getting out of bed to brush my teeth after I've already laid down. 

10.McDonald's Diet Coke and I have a special bond. It calls to me daily. 

11. My nemesis is Spaghetti Squash. I have yet to make a successful meal with one despite my best efforts. 

Kelli's Questions for me:

1. How would you describe your blog? (what do you blog about?)

I blog about my every day life. The pretty, the ugly and everything in between. 

2. Where do you shop the most? Why?

I have a serious addiction to Target. They always have cute things that are reasonably priced to begin with. Plus, their sale racks know how to make a girl swoon. 

3. What is your dream job?

This is a toughie, because what I want to say is a stay at home mom. Glamorous, right? I just love kids so much and would love to have the privilege of staying home and taking care of my future littles. 

4. What is your favorite all-time book?

Either the Harry Potter or Hunger Games series. I could read either of those over and over again and never be tired of them. 

5. What is your favorite way to work out?

Zumba. Hands down. I've been teaching this format for 4 years and am in love with the energy and the changes that it has brought about in my body. I'm also a runner. I enjoy the fresh air when it's warm enough to be outside, but also love sweaty interval work out on the treadmill when it's not. 

^Just a transformation shot for ya.

6. Knowing what you know now, what advice would you give your 13-​​year-​​old self?

Get braces now and spare yourself the embarrassment of having them your Freshman year in College! Everyone else is awkward looking too, so it won't be that bad. Take the plunge.

7. What is one skill you want to master?

Sewing. I took a class in high school and haven't done much since. I recently started a few simple projects to see what I was capable of and fell in love! 

8.  Where is your favorite place you have traveled?

The Caribbean. My grandma took all of the girls on a cruise there in 2008 and the only regret I have about it is that my husband wasn't around to see it all. It was relaxing and beautiful and so fun to experience a new culture. 

9. What is your favorite blog? 

My favorite blog would have to be The Daybook. I've been following Sydney's blog for like 3 years and I still get a kick out of every one of her posts. Props to that girl!

10. What is your favorite blog post you have written?

My favorite post would probably be this one. It's not funny. Or witty. But real. And I think people can relate to real. 

11. What is your favorite childhood memory?

Lake Shasta. Every summer My family and 3 others would road trip to Northern California to camp at Lake Shasta for a week. We rented a patio boat and one of the families' brought a ski boat so we were literally on the lake from sun up to sun down. My little self's dream come true!

My nominations:

Kiera at Serendipitously Planning 

Lindsay at The Evans

Jenna at Paddington Way

Emily at The Pulsiphers

My questions:

1. Why do you blog?

2. What's a guilty pleasure of yours?

3. What are three words that your closest friends would use to describe you?

4. What's your favorite blog?

5. What is your favorite way to work out?

6. When your go to pick-me-up?

7. Where is your favorite place to shop? Why?

8. Looking back on your life, what advice would you give to your younger self?

9. Funniest story you can think of…?

10. What's something you want to accomplish in 2014?

11. What's your most ambitious dream for your self?

A Sad Meal.

As a new-ish newly wed, I have been constantly trying to expand my cooking repertoire. Admittedly, any cooking at all pretty much beats what I had going on prior to getting married. 

This goal of mine means I am constantly searching Pinterest, and the internet in general, for innovative (and easy) healthy recipes. I have had a lot of success with my kitchen experiments, but I have also had a few total flops. 

Tonight was a total flop.

And a disappointing one at that. 

I have been trying to find a "perfect" recipe to enhance a Spaghetti Squash. The idea of using it as a pasta is a big hit with me because it is so much better for you! So I initially thought I would do this skinny Alfredo sauce I found, but I made it last week and Tay isn't the biggest Alfredo fan, so twice in two weeks is too much. 

So I consulted Pinterest to see what gems I could find. I ended up finding this recipe that was pretty basic: oregano, basil, olive oil, crushed red pepper, and salt and pepper. Not too complicated, but things don't necessarily have to be complicated to be delicious, right?

Tonight, that was not correct.

 It was such a let down! 

I ate a small heap just to say that I had a healthy dinner, and poor Tay ate the rest.

(He's such a good sport you guys. Seriously. I had made some pretty horrific meals and he always takes it like a champ. Love that guy!)

So dinner was a disappointment. A big one.

To make up for it I made Tay's favorite chocolate chip cookies and they turned out so perfectly!

Light golden brown. Soft. And amazing.

Not exactly the healthy evening I was going for, but sometimes you've gotta live a little!

Real talk.

Let's have a little chat.

 As I look over all of my social media feeds I am constantly bombarded with messages about thinspiration, fitspiration, eating clean etc. While I whole-heartedly support being fit and active as well as eating healthily there is such a thing as too much. Going too far. 

I will be the first to admit how much I love working out and eating well. Seriously. However, I have been guilty of taking it too seriously and earned the "gym rat" title in not the most positive of ways. I love fitness (i am a licensed Zumba instructor, and have taught for 4 years). Nothing makes me feel better about myself than a good, sweaty work out.

 But there's more to fitness than being thin. Or ripped. 

That is not to say I wouldn't be stoked to be either of those things, but those things take a serious level of dedication and a lot of time. that's not my reality. Nor is it why I go to the gym. My reality is that I'm 5'4", 138 lbs, have a little cellulite and a few  stretch marks…and get this-I haven't had kids!

But I don't think I'm the only one. 

While I do make it a point go to the gym everyday, it is not my top priority. My main focus is this guy:

And working. 

And getting ourselves ready for these:

That's what my life is all about. 

So yes, let's be fit. Let's be healthy for the sake of being healthy. But for all that's right in the world let's agree to stop hating ourselves and using that hate as motivation to exercise. Love your body. Exercise to keep it healthy, strong and capable of doing the things you want. Let exercise be a release for you, and not the punishment people have made it out to be. 

Cheers to exercising and eating right to promote healthy living and not to get to a particular number on a scale, To adopting a healthier lifestyle for our own well-being and not for anybody else! 

Five on Friday

For the first time ever I'm linking up with Darci over at the good life for five on friday!

so here we go!

#1: This neon coat I got from Target over Christmas break.

 It's so warm and so fun! Perfect for these chilly New England days. 

Did I mention that I only paid $10 for it?

boo yeah!

#2 These floral plates I got at Target just this morning.

Seriously, I love them. 

Even more so for $.88!

#3 These cutsie little plates!

Also from Target.

Also $.58. 

#4 This Valentine's banner.

The perfect compliment to my forever favorite Rhino. 

#5 Golf. 

Have you ever played this game? If not, do it! AsaP! 

Serious. Tay and I are in a never ending game that I'm currently losing. 

Badly. 

But I keep coming back for more because it's that much fun!

life of the unemployed

remember how i told you that the husband only has classes three days a week? and only for four hours?

Yeah. well that's his life right now.

my life, you ask?

well, i'm currently unemployed. 

with no kids.

which basically means i don't have too much going on.

and it's so great! but...i also get super bored. i'm used to having multiple jobs and going to school full time. so this lull in my life is totally weird. i don't even know how to fill all the free time that i have right now. i can't go to the gym without tay cuz he doesn't like it when i go without him. or if i did choose to go without him, i would have to go again after i pick him up. which is not all that bad. just exhausting. (ha! that coming from a girl who should be jumping at an opportunity to do anything). 

that being said, i have been applying for jobs. mostly substitute teaching positions because i can't really commit to an actual teaching position because we will be out of New England before the end of the elementary school year. so subbing it is. except nothing has really panned out yet. 

so i'm still applying. hunting. and applying. 

but today i found a job that i want so bad! 

it's a special education aide position.

it would only be for a few hours a day, and i would work one-on-one with special ed students.

how amazing does that sound??

seriously, i'm stoked.

i want it so bad.

so cross your fingers for me that i can have this dream job!

or if you're the religious type say a prayer for me!

i would appreciate any and and all help. 

8 inches.

today we got the infamous snow storm nika. 

it was kind of a big deal only because it snowed on us all day. literally. every. minute. of this day was snow-filled. it was kind of beautiful for the first few hours. and then i got bored. tay was doing his thing and i was hopelessly searching social media for something good.

speaking of, to anyone who watched the biggest loser finale last night, were you as sad as i was for michelle? i'm not mad that she won because she obviously lost the most weight. i am sad that she chose to go to the extremes that she did to get there. 105 pounds is so little for someone her height. and very seemingly unhealthy in my opinion. 

anyway. we got 8 inches of snow today and it's still coming down. but luckily my husband loves me and took me out for a few minutes so i could maintain my sanity. 

he took me to my happy place. love you boo!

tuesdays.

<-Boston sunset ->       

So Tay only has school Monday, Wednesday and Friday. Which means we get to play the other days of the week. It being Tuesday, we decided to go on an adventure. Being so close to Boston, we like to take advantage and see the city and all that is has to offer. So we went. And love it. Started our trip here:

So perfect! Among all the chaos in our lives right now, all the stress and worry it's so nice to go to the temple and take a little break. (note to other LDS-ers: there's a new movie. like brand spankin new. Not the old one that they claimed was the "new" one. It's probably my fav…GO!) It was amazing. And peaceful. And really everything we needed. 

A high point in our Boston trips is often the food we get to try. Because Boston is Boston there is an insane amount of really famous and said-to-be delicious eateries around. So of course we have accepted that mission and are trying our very hardest to eat at all the best ones. 

Tonight we went to the Union Oyster House which is right in the heart of the city. It is also the oldest continuously operating restaurant in America. Pretty neat. After a small hiccup in the navigation (i'm terrible with directions, even with the gps :( sorry babe!) we made it to this historic landmark where we were planning on stuffing our faces. 

Small side note: this place was recommended to us by  friend at church who lived in Boston for years. When he recommended it he called it a "steak house" that also had great seafood. Let me tell you something, I do not like seafood. Like at all. 

I know. I know…

 I'm crazy, un-american, etc. 

It's just not my thing. So we go to this Oyster House regardless of my distaste for seafood and I'm a little unsure about what I will be eating. I figure at the very least I can get a steak or chicken fingers or something not fishy.

Let me tell you another something: this place is strictly seafood with a few steak options. And the steak options start at $30.

Two words: not happening 

I'm cheap. I splurge on a few things every once in a while. But a $30 steak is not one of them.

 I frantically searched the menu for other options, but everything else was fishy!  Everything! 

(insert stress & initiate grumpy cat status)

After looking over the menu for a few more minutes I decide to stop the waitress and ask her what the soup of the day was. This was my last hope. I was so longer too enthused about this "steak house". Thankfully, it was chicken and vegetable. So I got that, while my other half excitedly ordered his lobster roll. Tay enjoyed it, I endured. But we can say that we've been there.

And I can be proud of myself for not denying my husband the opportunity to eat amazingly fresh seafood. 

(Tay felt bad for me and my sorry bowl of soup, and let me get a drink on the way home. I'm slightly addicted to Diet Coke so this girl was happy after all)

Good things to come..

My hcg levels are back at 0! Best news ever!

That's all :)

It has its perks.

So while being on the East Coast has its challenges, it also has its perks. Whenever people ask us about living in New England I always say the same few things:
1. It's so fun being on the East Coast for a change!
2. It's totally new and different than what we're used to and we're adjusting pretty well.
3. It's fun! But everything is so far from our house!
4. It's been the best experience for us as a couple.

#4 is probably my favorite answer because being completely away from both of our families, all of our friends, and outside of our comfort zone has been the best thing for us. We've been married for a year and a half now and undoubtedly we have grown closer. We have tried new things together. Been to new places. Made new friends as a married couple. But none of those things were to the extent that this New England experience is turning out to be. And guys, it's the best.

We both miss our families. That will never change and will always be a hardship while we're out here, but we get to be together! All alone together. Not many couples get a chance like this: to move away entirely and grow together as a couple and to be fair not every couple needs to do this, but this girl highly recommends it! (what am I even saying?)

Some perks:
**disclaimer: some of the apply to being married and living on your own in general. I realize this.

1. You get your spouse to yourself: I mean this in the best way possible. I love both of our families and all of our friends, but sometimes I just want to be with my husband. Just him. And me.
2. You can have sexy time whenever you want and never have to worry about being interrupted or walked in on.
3. You can walk around naked in your house.
4. You can leave the dishes in the sink after dinner if you so choose.
5. You can make whatever you're feeling like for dinner.
6. Going out to eat is a compromise between two people only.
8. You get to experience a brand new place together.
9. Which means you also get to be lost together.
10. You get to establish your own family between the two of you.
11. You can up and leave on a mini vacation without having to answer to anyone
12. Getting out of Utah means there are real opportunities for missionary work.
13. Seeing new aspects of nature. (ponds really do freeze over, and people actually ice skate on them!)
14. Eating authentic foods- Greek, you got it! Fresh sea food, sure! Real Italian Pizza, coming right up!
15. Experiencing real life history. (the pilgrims were all up in here)
16. People treat you as an adult and a contributing member to the ward family.
17. You are forced to be social. (Unless you really don't want any friends)

This is in no means an all inclusive list, but it's some of the things that Tay and I have come to love about our experience together. We are happy to have the opportunity to try something new, travel a bit and see how our "family" develops. It's been so fun and we are truly blessed to be here!

Dreams

So Tay and I have been talking a lot about what we want to do with ourselves in the near future. We're at a point where we could really do anything, go anywhere, or be whoever we want to be. It's really exciting! But with that excitement a whole heap of pressure tags along. 

What in the world do I want to be?

And at this moment, I have a lot of answers to that question. I don't know exactly what route to take, or which ones even make sense for me or my family, but it's nice to have dreams again. To think of the possibilities that this life has to offer. That I can take advantage of! I had a degree in Elementary Education (as of December :)!!!) so I could take that route, obviously, but in this moment I'm not sure that's what feels best. Weird, right? Go to college to determine what I want to be, graduate with a degree and still not know. It's not so much a matter of not knowing, because I know I could teach and I would never regret it. But there's so much more that I want to do! That I want to try my hand at before I really settle down with a career. 

So right now I'm exploring my options (which also translates into me being unemployed, but I'm choosing to look at it as an opportunity…see what I did there? :) ) It's exciting! and nerve wracking trying to think it all through and see what makes the most sense. But I am so happy that I have a chance to do some soul searching, backed by a very supportive husband of course, and find what it is that I want to do with myself. 

Managing the Miscarriage

I have handled our miscarriage pretty well (if such a thing exists). It's been almost 2 months since we found out we were losing baby and I rarely break down about it. Even though we were in Utah for a month and that is baby central. Seriously. If they don't have a baby in tow, they're typically pregnant. Not a joke. Utah was hard for me. Not only was the entire public pregnant, but my sister is prego with baby #1 and my sister in law with #2. I love them both and am beyond happy for them both, but it was still hard. They have something that I want to desperately. 

I find I have the hardest times with first time expectant mothers. It's a weird jealousy issue I have with accepting the fact that they get to have a baby without the trial of a miscarriage. I see them and hate them a little (I know this is wrong). I find myself hoping that they know how lucky they are. How blessed they are to be expecting despite the challenges that come with pregnancy. Along with this comes a new intolerance and frustration with teen moms. I have read a ton about pregnancy and found that each month a couple trying to get pregnant only has a 20% chance of success. It all relates to your ovulation cycles because it's such a short span out of the month and you have to have sex at the perfect moment or else you don't get pregnant...yada yada yada. The only exception to this stat is teen moms. They have unplanned sex once in the backseat of a car and get pregnant, stay pregnant, and have healthy babies. KILL ME! Nothing cuts me deeper than a child having a baby that they don't want. 

Additionally, my hCG levels are still not at 0 which means my chance of getting pregnant again right now is 0. I feel defeated. I feel like this nightmare will never end. I want to be able to start over. To try again. But my body is struggling.

So here's to another blood draw this week and hoping that a new start is coming.